Impartial

I don't know how to start this.
Im trying to find translation
I see simply a sillouhette of who i used to be.
No sign of what I want to be.
Or justification for what I am not.
"Car ride,where?
home?
HELL!,why not"
this is my mind when it is anchored && docked to my worries.
Starbucks is closed,I need to get away now.
When i think my mind has reached its limit,it keeps on crawling.
Im impartial to rational logic now it is too late for reasoning.
To tired to think straight is the only thing I am sure of.
I even forgot why I wrote this,

Not sure If i was supposed to write this to save my sorry ass or help you with yours.
point is an empty coffee mug rests bedside.
cigarette put out on my headboard.
it is 5am I am not asleep,life isnt always so polite.

There are so many things I'd like to tell him,but I know how much they would sit&&fester in his mind.
so I burried them && let them fester in mine.
Im relieved that hearts can't break.
How awful that would be huh.
When morning does it's job,the first thoughts that run threw my mind are;
Im over him,I dont need him or anyone else for that matter.
I suppose I do this HOPING that one day I'll trick myself into truely believing it.